Part 1: 4 Creative Ways to Spend Quality Time with Your Tween
Part 2: Get Active and Move Together
Part 3: Engage in Conversations That Matter
Part 4: Part 4: Make Routine Moments Special
The days of snuggling on the couch with your little one, reading books and watching cartoons, seem so far away now, don’t they? Your child, once full of wide-eyed wonder and curiosity, is now a tween—somewhere between childhood and adolescence—and you’re noticing the shift.
Maybe she’s become more independent, more opinionated, and even a little distant. You’ve started hearing more “leave me alone” or “I’ll do it myself,” and you can feel the pull in your heart as you realize your baby is growing up. But here’s the thing: in the midst of all these changes, there’s a window of opportunity—a chance to deepen your connection before she drifts too far away.
The tween years are tough for both kids and parents. It’s a time when children begin to define themselves, exploring new interests, testing boundaries, and struggling with emotions they don’t quite know how to handle. But it’s also a time when they need you more than ever. They may not always show it, but beneath the surface, they want to feel seen, loved, and understood.
And this is where you come in. The time you spend with your tween during these years can shape her self-esteem, her values, and the relationship you’ll carry with her into her teenage years. So, what’s the best way to spend time with your tween in a way that nurtures your bond?
In this four-part blog series, I’ll share powerful and emotional ways to spend quality time with your tween. These aren’t just ordinary activities. These are experiences that can strengthen your connection, build trust, and help your tween feel loved and valued—just the way she is.
Part 1: Get Creative with One-on-One Activities
The first time I noticed the shift in my daughter, Lucy, was when she turned 9. One day, I was sitting in the living room, working on my laptop, and Lucy was sitting across the room, reading a book. Normally, we would be talking about our day, laughing about silly things, or even watching a movie together. But that day, she seemed so distant—so absorbed in her own world.
I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness. It was the realization that she wasn’t my little girl anymore.
I missed the days when I could get down on the floor and play with her stuffies or make a fort out of blankets. But now, she was starting to carve out her own identity—her own space.
I was hesitant to ask her what was wrong, afraid that she might close me off more. But deep down, I knew I had to find a way to reconnect—to remind her that I was still there for her, even if things were changing.
That’s when I came up with the idea to spend time with her in a way that would make her feel seen and heard, without any pressure. It was a small but significant idea that started to shift our relationship. We would create together.
Art Projects: A Canvas of Connection
Lucy had always been artistic—painting, drawing, sculpting—she loved it all. So one weekend, I asked her if she wanted to do an art project with me. She looked up from her book with a raised eyebrow, a mix of curiosity and skepticism. “Okay, but I’m not sure what to do.”
“Let’s just start,” I said, “and see where it goes. We could paint, make some pottery, or just try something new. How about we paint something together?”
Her face softened, and a little smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “Yeah, that sounds fun.”
We dug out the paint, brushes, and canvases that had been collecting dust in the cabinet. I wasn’t sure if she would actually enjoy it, but I had a feeling that this would open up a door for us.
As we painted, I let Lucy take the lead. I followed her ideas—if she wanted to paint a sunset with wild colors, I followed. If she wanted to add layers of texture, I let her guide the brush. There was no rush, no agenda, just the two of us in the room, surrounded by the quiet hum of the world outside.
As we worked, something magical happened. Lucy began to talk—slowly at first, but then the words came spilling out. She told me about a friend at school who had been acting distant, about how she was nervous about starting high school next year, and about how sometimes she felt like no one really understood her.
I listened. Really listened. I didn’t interrupt, didn’t try to solve anything. I just let her express herself as the paint dried between us.
Cooking Together: Creating More than a Meal
As we worked on our art project, I started to realize that these small, intentional moments were what we had been missing. It wasn’t just about the activity—it was about slowing down enough to make space for real conversation and emotional connection.
Inspired by our creative success, I decided to extend the bond. I asked Lucy if she wanted to cook with me the following weekend. “You can choose the recipe, and we’ll make it together,” I said.
She hesitated at first. “I don’t know... what if I mess it up?”
“Lucy,” I said gently, “it’s about having fun, not being perfect. Cooking is just like painting—there are no mistakes, only new experiences. You can do whatever you want.”
That was all it took. Lucy lit up, excited by the prospect of choosing the recipe. We spent the afternoon together in the kitchen, chopping vegetables, stirring sauces, and sharing laughs over the occasional spilled ingredient. Lucy picked a recipe for homemade pizzas, and we made our own dough, added toppings, and waited as the pizzas baked in the oven.
While the food cooked, we talked about everything and nothing. She told me about a funny moment in class and how she was struggling with a math assignment. We didn’t just make dinner that day; we made memories. And we didn’t just talk about surface-level things—we talked about what was on her heart.
Building Something Together: Crafting a Legacy
One of the most powerful ways to bond with your tween is through shared projects that teach you both the value of teamwork. For us, that came in the form of planting seeds for the future.
One Saturday afternoon, Lucy and I were walking through the store when we stumbled across a section of seeds—the veggie section. It was simple, but something about the idea of planting seeds for the future resonated with me. We decided to give it a try.
Lucy was a little unsure at first. “None of my plants have lived,” she said.
“Most of mine die,” I laughed, “but that’s the fun of it. We can love them back to life! We’ll figure it out together.”
We spent the next few hours working on the planting, picking the right spot, amending the soil, watering the ground, and cleaning up the mess together. Our hands got dirty, and there were moments of frustration when something didn’t work right. But in the end, when we stood outside and saw tiny sprouts bursting from the soil several days later, something shifted. It was a tangible symbol of our effort, our teamwork, and our shared commitment to something meaningful.
Planting that crop of seeds together reminded me of how much I needed to slow down and appreciate the small moments. It also reinforced that Lucy needed me to be present—not just physically, but emotionally, too.
The Power of Creative Time: Why it Matters
In the months that followed, Lucy and I found more ways to spend creative time together. Sometimes it was painting, other times cooking, and other times it was working on a project like the veggie seeds. But what remained constant was the connection we built during those moments.
The beauty of these activities wasn’t just in what we created, but in the space they gave us to connect on a deeper level. These were the moments when Lucy felt seen and heard. These were the moments when she felt loved and valued. And, perhaps most importantly, these were the moments when I felt like I was truly there for her—showing her that I was her biggest supporter, no matter what changes life brought.
So, if you find yourself missing the bond you once had with your tween, or if you’re feeling disconnected from the person they’re becoming, remember this: spending quality, creative time together is one of the most powerful ways to reconnect. It’s not about being perfect, having all the right answers, or even completing the project. It’s about being there, being present, and showing your tween that they are more than enough.
Through these creative moments, you’re teaching them that no matter how much they change, you’ll always be there to support them—with love, patience, and the willingness to grow together.
